Thursday, November 10, 2011

Is Slander/Libel, Name Calling & Bullying Appropriate Posted in a Blog?

 
 
 
Greetings everyone.....
Hope everyone is all tucked in and snug this evening..Here in Ohio and especially on the Island the winds are brisk 35 mph trying to whip up another storm. Crisp & cold here....All though I love the sound of the wind coming across the Lake ...and the beautiful moon glowing..... I hate the thought of winter coming soon and the weather out there tonight is a huge remainder it isn't far off....
Friday is my last day working on the island and boy am I ever happy about that.
I'll miss the good money and all my good Friends but I surely won't miss all the hard work cleaning...
Time to pack it all up Saturday morning and go South for the winter...
Looking forward to creating in my shop and spending more time blogging with everyone here over the cold months of winter.
Which brings me to the title of my post.... 
Since I've joined the blog community I've met so many great people. Although I have not met most of you in person I feel a kindred spirit with so many of you...reading your post daily and sharing thoughts and comments with you has made my life so much fuller.
So generally I'm not one to comment or complain about others here in blog land who seem to relish in negative immature behavior. I figure its generally not worth the time. It's easier to just delete those bloggers and forget they exist.
 
As I was reading blogs I come across a blog who's main focus was name calling and slander of another blogger. Although no name was mentioned the Public name calling & slander of another person simply isn't appropriate behavior. 
 
It is with a Heavy heart that I tell you that I know for a FACT that the slander was Unjustified.

As for name calling, Kids call there piers names but name calling coming from an adult is beyond inappropriate.
 
Many of you have shared at one point or another that someone has been less then kind to you and how much it hurt you that they could be so openly dishonest, unkind and disrespectful to a fellow blogger...
Sadly it happens all the time.. here in Blogland, on Web sites, on Ebay, Etsy, just about anywhere on the net.
 
The news reports Bullying, name calling & slander going on between teens via the net & texting almost daily. Bullying that goes so far that some kids take there own lives. What a horribly sad way to lose a child. 
 
Everyone at one point or another has wanted to lash out at someone who they feel has done an injustice to them, we're human..... each & everyone of us has felt the urge to find a way to justify the anger or hurt we have received from another person... Myself included...
Sure it may make us feel better at the time but what about in the future?
 
Sadly it's easy for people to sit at a computer, where no one can see them and type out words that hurt others. Never considering how hurting one person trickles down the line to hurt, disrespect, or humiliate others.  
What do they care? Sometimes they are faceless, sometimes everyone knows there face.
Sometimes they're justified in expressing there feelings and sometimes they aren't justified at all.
 
Either way is posting a blog with Name Calling & Slandering another person an appropriate way to handle any situation? I personally don't think so!!
 
What if the reason for the anger felt today that leads a person to slander another person turns out to be a lie, some sort of dishonesty or completely a misunderstanding, misconception or miscommunication..?
 
What about how the actions of one person affects others who may or may not be party to the situation?   
 
When people are involved in these kinds of actions on the net it is different then being involved face to face, one on one.
On the net and especially in blogland One person or 1000's of people may read the words of someone who is upset and posting negatively towards another person.
 
There is every possibility that those people/readers form an opinion towards the person being called names & slandered not ever knowing the TRUE FACTS of the situation. Simply taking the person doing the name calling & slandering another at face value.
 
There is ALWAYS TWO sides of a situation....for every action there is a reaction!!
 
Maybe it doesn't matter to you if you know both sides of a situation that brought on the name calling & slander of another or maybe it does matter.
I take honesty very seriously so It matters very much to me..
 
The greatest sadness in situations such as this is its nearly impossible to know who is being honest and who is being dishonest. Never knowing the truth or how many will be hurt by one persons choice to publicly slander another on the Internet.
 
We all want to think that we know the people we share our lives with here in blogland.
We want to believe that people are kind, Caring, Giving, Understanding and above all Honest. 
Those are the very reasons we openly share our daily lives with each other.
Its where we find comfort in the friendships we make with our fellow bloggers.
Its where we can feel free to exchange ideas, exchange & share our accomplishments and even our failures..
 
Its one thing to complain if we feel wronged in some way..but its totally inappropriate to call someone names and slander them publicly. 
 
After reading this Blog and thinking about it, I wondered if others ever give any thought to how this type of inappropriate behavior affects others..Its easy to quickly post a comment telling the person doing the name calling & slandering someone, how sorry you are that they are having to deal with this person who made them so angry..
Myself included...but knowing the facts of both sides of this situation lent me to think outside the box and ask myself if this kind of behavior is appropriate for one & is it acceptable especially in a public blog post...
 
My answer was No...
All I could think was..... complain & grumble if you must, but don't stoop to childish name calling & slandering another person publicly...Simply put it isn't appropriate behavior. Try to work it out privately & if you can't then let it go.
 
My opinion is just that.... my opinion. Yours may be totally different.
Either way its worth thinking about how this sort of behavior affects each and everyone of us..
 
Do you ever consider that the things you read may not always be as they appear to be especially when it comes to someone slandering another person?
 
Do you ever consider the truth being left out in public name calling & slander you read? 
 
Do you ever take time to Consider there is ALWAYS TWO SIDES to a given situation?
Keeping in mind you are only being exposed to one side, the side doing the name calling and slandering!
 
Do you ever Consider how public name calling & slander affects others & how many people can be hurt by public name calling & slander?
 
Then when its all said and done and you've given some thought to those considerations ask yourself if this is the kind of behavior you want to see in Blog land or anywhere else on the net.
 
There is to much Ugliness & Unkindness in the world already....
The last place I want to find it is in blogland.....how about you? 
 
Until we meet again may your Days be filled with Happy moments..
 
Hugs & Blessings
Tonya

12 comments:

  1. How sad.....that's all. I have met so many wonderful people and made friends here in blog land. I haven't had any issues with people. Counting my blessings this Thanksgiving. Wishing you a blessed week. ~Sara

    ReplyDelete
  2. That's awful! I totally agree, there is enough negativity in this world we don't need any more here in blogland! I've been blogging for about 3 yrs. now and have seen it a few times here and there, I've been hurt by blog *friends* who I took time out of my days to comment on every post they wrote, offered my love and support to them, only to have them vanish, no goodbye, thanks for your friendship or anything, some think that since we are online and not in person we have no true feelings and nothing is further from the truth. I hope I never hurt anyone that way or say hurtful things (if I ever do, feel free to slap me upside the head, LOL!)

    ReplyDelete
  3. There is always two sides to the story & the more vocal side isn't always right. Everything will work out in the end.

    ReplyDelete
  4. I've seen this happen before. I think it is rare but it happens everywhere in life. As adults, we need to try to keep some things inside, or at least, off the blog. Asking for prayer during a difficult time--that's totally different.
    Rachel's right. There are two sides to every story and I don't think we ever hear ALL of both sides.
    None of us are naive enough to think that everything said about us is positive. Rest easy, Tonya and take your own advice. Work it out privately or let it go.
    ★Linda★

    ReplyDelete
  5. I also agree, but if people keep having bad experiences with the same individual I also feel they should be warned. I wish I would have been warned about a bad experience I had with an order. I posted about it because i wanted to warn others, needless to say i got allot of private emails about others having problems with this person so I am glad i made a post about it, if i would have seen something beforehand i would have thought twice before ordering.

    ReplyDelete
  6. I think you chose to leave the island just in time, I woke up to snow here - 50 miles west of Toledo. Not sure I'm ready for winter - but for me there's not going south! Safe travels to you. I have deleted a few blogs that I used to read because all the blogger did was complain about this, that or the other thing. Negative people are infectious and NO fun to be around (or reading about). I do not have time to hear about someone's constant problems. I do agree this isn't the venue - if you have a problem with someone it should be a private matter. ~Ann

    ReplyDelete
  7. Tonya, I hate to see winter come too. But I tend to get more crafting done in the winter than summer. I don't have to be working outside as much. Can't wait to see some of your new gatherings.

    Tamera
    Country at heart

    ReplyDelete
  8. I agree name calling and cruelness is never appropriate but I do belive some people target our kind hearts and take advantage.Occasionally it's good to "warn" others of a problem but explain it factually and don't resort to lowering yourself.There are shifty people out there and I for one would like to know.I was recently took by a so called blog friend she begged me to swap took my goods and then made up lie after lie.I called her on each one and now she doesn't bother to mail or answer.I was nice about it but did not accept her lies.I have decided not to post it as she has dissapeared for awhile.It's not fun being took but you really don't need to lower yourself by acting childish.Alot of people write in the heat of that anger so it comes out like that.I would suggest sitting down thinking it through and if you feel a need to warn others do just that in a grown up way but only after trying to work it out with the other person first....Have fun getting settled back in on the mainland.Warm Blessings!~Amy

    ReplyDelete
  9. Hi Tonya,
    Sad but true that there are a few people out there that need to be cruel...when all they need to do is work it out...I believe the name callers are looking for attention and have people be on their side. This is so wrong.
    I thank you for posting this - it wakes up those that do post this kind of behavior although I haven't seen any of it - at least not that I can remember.
    Maybe now people who 'want' to post something like this will think different.
    Glad you are back home now and can relax.
    Blessings,
    Karen

    ReplyDelete
  10. Hi Tonya. Such inmature behavior never belongs in blogland, however there will always be inmature people that do it. Hopefully the ones the read it will as you said realize there are 2 sides to the story. I too am sorry you had to read it.

    Hugs to you friend. Hope you a feeling good these days.

    Felicia

    ReplyDelete
  11. Have a safe trip home. We had some snow blowing today. Thankful it did not stay. Name calling is hurtful. For me those words never go away. I am thankful I have never found it here in blog land. I came to the blog a very hurt
    person looking for friendship. I am grateful I found that in you & others. Blessings!
    Lara

    ReplyDelete
  12. Well said Tonya. How does that saying go...be kind for everyone you meet is fighting a great battle...or something of the sort. Have fun this winter in your awesome shop creating! ~*~Lisa

    ReplyDelete

I'm so Blessed that you stopped by & shared your thoughts with me today! Reading your comments always makes me Smile!